What you are about to read may be incredibly boring.
Or mentally stimulating.
Or just plain boring.
Read at your own risk.

 

Movie Casting

So with all the recent success of Fifty Shades, I think it’s pretty obvious that the movie industry shit their pants and said, “HOLY CRAP WE GOTTA GET IN ON THIS!!” I actually think you should replace “movie” with “porno” but I digress. Everyone and their horny mother has an opinion about who should play Christian and Ana on the big screen and even though I have no desire to see such the movie, I still have my opinion on who should play the main characters. BECAUSE I’M AN AMERICAN, DAMMIT. That immediately entitles me to an opinion on things that I still don’t care about.

So let’s start with Christian. We need someone hot and really, really good looking. Oh, and someone who can be snarky, fun, yet dominating and has severe anger management issues. I know Ian Somerhalder has thrown his hat in the ring, and to be honest, I have to give it to him. I’ve seen him on both Lost and as Damon on The Vampire Diaries and I think the world must know of his hotness!

A lot of people have thrown their hat in the ring to play Ana too. Apparently Emma Roberts has expressed interest, while at the same time admitting that she’s never read the books and doesn’t really know what they’re about. …..yeah. Okay, I’m just going to cross you off the list there then. I don’t know if she’s directly expressed interest in it, but I think Emilia Clarke, who currently plays Daenerys Targaryen on Game of Thrones would be a good Ana. She’s a natural brunette and we know she’s not shy about taking her clothes off. I feel like the two roles are similar, by virtue of the fact that both Dany and Ana start out as very innocent virgins and then…well, we know what happens. I don’t want to throw out any GOT spoilers so I’ll keep silent. But yeah, my vote is Emilia Clarke for Ana.

Turning now to the supporting cast, I think Blake Lively from Gossip Girl should play Kate. She’s a beautiful blonde with some acting ability, and quite frankly, who I pictured Kate to be when I was reading the books. Now as for Elena, AKA Mrs. Robinson, I don’t know. Any blonde in her middle forties would do. I’m sure Hollywood is full of them. I really love the character of Taylor, but I honestly have no idea who would play him. The same goes for Elliot, Mia, the Greys and Ana’s parents. But then again, they are such minor characters and get talked about more than they actually appear in the books. This is especially true for Mrs. Robinson, who never technically makes an appearance until the second book.

If Emma Roberts really wants a role in this, she could always play Leila……